Neither Cheer nor Intoxication

Underneath a crude explosion
fairly wrought with sharpened lines
comes a new and frightening closure
comes a cruelly sundered mind.

Comes a latent vented hardened
blasted blackened quickened beat;
Comes the moment blue hurt burdened
with a honeyed hectored bleat.

This is all; this is all;
after everything we tried.
There was no question of a thrall;
nor any binding call beside.

We made it fast in frozen gleaming;
made it last till round came first.
Still the far high-handed scheming
Lost that fair and keening thirst;

This is all; this is all!
This is but a single round;
Not like days when mead and gall
careened upon the hardened ground.

Then was laughter, then was keening,
then was more than wonder seeming,
then we drank for more than this –
then was wine the cap of bliss.

Laugh, accommodating friend.
I knew you when I was a child.
Then around me being bended,
then my mind was blurred and wild,
the technically existing people
floated in my corner sight,
while you were truer in my bleeding,
in my crying, in my flight.

I would come to you again
in this moment of denial,
I will desist at last, old friend,
but for a moment of fair trial,
smile again and be my other
self – my thrilled applauding brother.

This is all; this is all;
nothing grows within this space.
My skirts with whispers round me fall
and give me leave to leave this place.

This is all; this is all;
I have been wild in my words.
Everything a little hurts;
nothing worthy comes at call.
This is all; this is all.


  1. This piece strikes me as having been written by one who was fast friends with someone of the opposite sex from childhood, who tried being boyfriend/girlfriend for a while and when that didn’t work out they both ended up with others, this poem chronicling the feelings of one or the other as they meet much later on. I loved reading it.


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